The Enema Question

So. I get a call today from a home care website, from a lady, the next town over. I have done home care work before and I don't mind it. Not only that but I was just sitting here thinking I need to get another job. Let's just say it's the last time I manifest that thought.....
Anyhow.
So we are talking and she tells me the needs she has, which seem very normal and something that I would actually do, like laundry, dishes, food prep etc. I explain that I really don't do any medical type of things such as catheters, shots, blood tests or anything that would involve medical care.-- Then she says,
"DO YOU DO FLEET ENEMAS?"
'UM..... well not really.....
Don't you need a certification for that?"
"Oh, no, you don't. My old helper did it all the time. You don't need to be certified in enemas."
I really don't know if I could go to someone's house and dust their furniture, make them lunch and then shove an enema up their ass. I have a hard time shoving anything up my own ass, never mind someone I don't even know.
I know, it's all medical etc, and that's why there are doctors and nurses who, THANK GOD can do that stuff, but no, not here. YOU DO NOT NEED ANY TYPE OF CERTIFICATION TO GO AROUND SQUIRTING ENEMAS UP PEOPLE'S ASSES.
I'm so glad I know that now, aren't you? I'm relieved, cuz I do get constipated, a lot. And you know I could just call someone up and get them over here to beam me up to STARSHIP FLEET --ENEMA and boldly go where nobody really wants to go. Ever. I'm all for the exploration of space but the black hole is not a place I want to go. In this case it might actually be the 'brown hole' but you know what I mean.
If only I was brave enough I could have that job right now. - Dusting china knick nacks, making tuna fish sandwiches, and shooting enemas. It's almost like being a drug dealer or something, but not illegal.
Don't they have an Enema Group or some shit like that? Like "Meals on Wheels' but for the other end? Can't they just call "The Assman"? < guess reference from what funny show, ready go!>

I realize the woman's needs but I just can't do it. I'm sorry.
I could go on all day about ass jokes but I have shit to do today....... *sigh